MY DAD IS A CYLON

Teen: Thinks Dad is a Cylon

Dad: I am not a Cylon

Real Cylon: Must stay at least 100 parsecs away from

Traumatised teenager tells all

A young girl has sensationally branded her own father as a Cylon Agent.

Seventeen year old Cathy Long (originally from Sagitaria) accused her dad on the hit wireless talk show Get Up with D'anna Biers. She insisted that her father Cy, is an enemy agent.

Let the attack begin

The Fleet was rocked by the recent revelations that some Cylons looked like humans. Since then, phone lines at Battlestar Galactica have been flooded with calls from crazed, grief ridden lunatics all claiming to know, work with, sleep with or owe money too a Cylon. "We are looking into allegations made on a popular radio show of a possible Cylon infiltrator." a spokesperson from the Galactica told The Orion Bag's intrepid reporter Gak 2.0.

Shifty eye

Mr Long has been detained by colonial authorities who have refused to comment further. However, his daughter is adamant that her dad is a mortal enemy of the human race. "I can't face him." she said. "I won't even look him in the eye. It keeps moving from side to side. I get really dizzy looking at it."

Bodymatters

Mr Long, an unemployed body repair specialist, has vigorously denied accusations that he is a Cylon. "I'm innocent." he said from the inside of a cell deep in the bowls of Galactica's Brig. "Cathy's trying to frame me because she's angry I said she couldn't go out with that colonial warrior whose been hanging around here lately. She's still only seventeen and I won't have her coming and going without so much as a by your command."

The date for his trial has been set for next Tuesday. Mr Long has chosen to be represented by a can of oil.

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Traumatised teenager tells all

A young girl has sensationally branded her own father as a Cylon Agent.

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