This is an archive story from May 2007. For the most recent stories go here

HITLERS CORPSE SET FOR TORY GLORY!

Hitler - Back To Basics.

Maude - Grand Resurrector

Thatcher - No fit state

Conservatives Raise New Leader!

In a move of biblical evil today the Conservative party decided on a change in leadership in an attempt to outflank recent British Labour party shuffling in the ranks.

Committing an action the Catholic, Jewish and Muslim faiths unusually unilaterally condemned as 'morally bankrupt and truly, deeply, evil'. The long dead fascist and icon of evil - Adolf Hitler - was raised to run the party.

Stinky

Challenged over what was to become of the friendlier face of Tory politics in England - Francis Maude chairman of the Tory party replied -

The rites of resurrection require a blood sacrifice - chiefly that of a political virgin. David Cameron was never going to see significant power so he fit the bill nicely. We fed him to Hitler - seems to have done the trick.

Voodoo

In his inaugural speech, the walking corpse of Tory leadership hissed (in unusually clear English )-

We haff not seen the fuerherdom of England since the decline of Margaritte. She is in no fit stat to resume power so it is up to Me - Aryan purity of right wing politics - to bring the spine back to British politics.

The initial speech covered topics as:

1) Immigration.

2) Religion

3) Changing who won the world cup in 66 - it was a duff goal anyway.

He then proceeded to laugh in a long, maniacal manner which unnerved all those present. As if being shouted at by the corpse of Hitler was not enough.

Hoodoo

Indeed, most Conservatives have welcomed the return of the sinister stiff - marking it as a turning point in British politics and the first real, clear distinction of Tory and Labour politics. Gordon Brown was unavailable for comment, having locked himself in a bunker in Downing street.

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