The Orion Bag: Sci-Fi satire

Issue 28

9 August 2007

Updated weekly

WEEKLY EMAIL
EMAIL US: moan@orionbag.com

TOHT: I BEAR NO GRUDGE

melty melty

Toht: no grudge

Toht today

Movie memorabilia

Star forgives Spielberg for being left out of Indy IV

Raiders of the Lost Ark character Arnold Toht has forgiven film director Steven Spielberg for leaving him out of the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, which recently began filming in America.

Past it

The film, which no one knows much about, stars crumbly 60-something Harrison Ford as the heroic, swashbuckling adventurer Indiana Jones. But Toht, who melted horrifically at the end of the first film, will not be appearing in Indy IV.

Arnold Toht was the snivelling, evil, reptillian Gestapo nemesis of Indiana Jones who famously burnt his hand whilst trying to retrieve the headpiece to the Staff of Ra from a fire.

We are not - hehe - thirsty

"I'm not angry. Steven and I spoke at length about my making an appearance and decided it was best if I passed. There were minor script problems, such as how to explain how my ravaged face reconstituted itself, and also the fact that I am a fictional character portrayed by an actor who died 16 years ago."

Not bitter

Toht adds, "Some people were trying to make out I had a grudge and was bitter at being excluded from both Temple of Doom and Last Crusade. But I am a professional. And I understand that these things happen. I'd like to make it clear that I bear Steven and the rest of the team no grudge, and wish them the best of luck with the venture."

Today, Toht runs a small, movie memorabilia website selling precious artifacts, or props, he stole from the Raiders set.

"I can also supply replicas of the headpiece of the Staff of Ra. It means having to burn my hand severely each time, but there seems to be a demand so it's worth the pain. I also sell replica Toht glasses and general Gestapo paraphanalia, if you're interested. Visit www.demented-nazi.com".

Copy and paste the following code into a new post for your blog. There's a preview of what it'll look like below...

Preview
Raiders of the Lost Ark character Arnold Toht has forgiven film director Steven Spielberg for leaving him out of the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, which recently began filming in America.
Close this

Did you like that? Hate it? Any "facts" we've missed? Tell us using the feedback form...


You are not logged in, but you can still add a comment as a guest. LOG IN. (Click here to see advantages of signing up.)

Copyright © 2007 The Orion Bag

Also in this issue