This is an archive story from February 2007. For the most recent stories go here

BIRD FLU ATTACKS MONGO

Hawkmen: Diiiiiiieeeeeee!!

Ming: Atoms

Emporer's daughter: Must stay at least 100 yards away from

Deadly virus blamed for Hawkmen cull

Ming The Merciless, Ruler of the Universe has defended the decision to obliterate the Hawkmen and reduce their homes to atoms following the outbreak of Bird Flu in Sky City.

Act normal my Hawkmen

Members of the Imperial Guard started to notice odd or irrational behaviour in the Hawkmen as recently as last Sunday after routine collection of taxes and tributes for his Magnificant Excellence. "Normally we'd expect the Hawkmen to kneel before us as we approach" said Klytus, a high ranking official in the Department of Internal Revenue, Intimidation, Torture and Light Entertainment. "However, on this occasion they just stood there, hands behind their backs winking at each other. One of them was sitting on a large chest polishing his nails and looking like nothing was going on."

"It could only mean one thing: Bird Flu." he continued "And what is the cure for Bird Flu?" he asked a terrified Orion Bag reporter Gak 2.0. "Destruction"

Resitance

Within the hour war rocket Ajax was dispatched to Sky City with orders not to bother bringing back any bodies. Ming himself is said to have signed the order.

"There was no choice" His Munificent Sagacity told a compliant press conference. "This virulent, no to say rebellious, infection could spread to the population at large. I had no choice but to destroy them utterly" One brave journalist ask if perhaps his Glorious Majesty may have mistaken the symptoms as resistance against his tyranny. They were they last words he ever spoke.

Barin Knights

Meanwhile, reports from the destruction zone are emerging that some of the Hawkmen escaped the cull. Among them is their outspoken leader Prince Vultan. Klytus has ordered a full search of all of Mingo's dominions for him, starting with Prince Barin's Kingdom of Arbor. "I'm not 'avin that fevvered ponce coming darn 'ere wif 'is filfy germs." said Barin. "I've got enough trouble wif all that Dutch Elms desease. Last time that broke out 'alf me bleedin Kingdom was blown up by the Guvverment. I nearly got shot meself but luckily I'm shaggin the Emperors daughter so got away wif it. 'appy days."

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