This is an archive story from September 2007. For the most recent stories go here

JET PACK SET BACK

Hover cars: Quite common in France

London: Tommorow

An Austrian yesterday

UK rush for hovercar compliance

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has promised billions of pounds of investment to guarantee a futuristic future for Britain.

The PM was reacting to an EU compliance report that predicts the UK will not meet its targets for hover-cars, jet-packs, talking robots and other spacey gadgets. All European countries must be futuristically compliant by 2012.

Instant Wurst

The report states that "If films like Back to the Future II and Blade Runner have taught us anything, it's that the second decade of this century will be a place where hover cars and life-like robots will be commonplace and an accepted part of day-to-day life; our plans for the future must reflect these changes."

Britain is falling behind its European rivals. France have recently confirmed that 56% of their population have flying cars. Germany can claim to have food replicators in most metropolitan railway stations cafes and 80% of all Austrians live in spacey pod-like habitations and wear shiny spandex suits.

Chariots of the Gods

Brown has vowed to transform the landscape of the nation in time for the Olympics. Our cities will have transparent transportation tubes and protective domes to shield the populace from climate change. London will be a city in the clouds. The national anthem will be will be updated with a new arrangement by Vangelis.

Friendly Crustations

"I have pledged over £15 billion to ensure a futuristic Britain for our children." announced the PM. "Already we have just completed work on a spectacular undersea project linking us to our European partners."

In the meantime, construction of the new zero-g domosphere near Stratford has been halted pending the invention of zero-g technologies.

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