This is an archive story from October 2007. For the most recent stories go here

WESTMINSTER OR WESTWORLD?

Gordon Brown: "Phoney"

Ann Widdecombe: Mk I

Ann Widdecombe: Mk VI. Much better.

Parliament hit by Robotic Replacement Rumours

After accusations from David Cameron that Gordon Brown "looked like a phoney" the Orion Bag has been investigating rumours of mass replacement of MPs by robots.

It is suggested that our elected representatives have been being incrementally replaced with machines over the last few years.

Charlatans

Luckily for the human race, it has become widely known that Cylons can now look like humans. This vital information leaked out through the little-known documentary television programme Battlestar Galactica. This makes them much harder to pick out than those big shiny blokes in rubber suits with a "wershy weshy" glowing red eye.

Soup Dragons

As the Cylons develop their technology, suggestions are that they've been trialling their prototype models in Westminster. It is believed their logic is that any erratic, eccentric and peculiar behaviour, speech and policy decisions could pass by unnoticed in the archaic and ridiculous headquarters of the british political community.

Eagle-eyed observers have noticed tell-tale signs that the new hardware and software may not have been fully tested - so the machines are not behaving as they should:

- Gordon Brown has recently been witnessed smiling, talking about his personal life and simulating some kind of personality

- Ann Widdecombe went haywire and started stalking prostitutes

- Brown has employed a chancellor with startlingly unrealistic eyebrows

- Brown has even let a couple of duplicates, yes, duplicates - to be trialled in the cabinet at the same time.

Inspiral Carpets

There is still hope for the British public as David Cameron has quite obviously not been replaced as he shows no signs of any logic, efficiency or consistency. The Cylons are obviously still working on the programming for "Smarmy Toff".

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