This is an archive story from February 2008. For the most recent stories go here

A LOT OF HOT AIR

Hot Air

Otter

Auteur

Technology Update: First Whoopee Cushions and Now This

Gordon Brown has been very quick to send government investigators to India to investigate a car that runs on air. The OneCAT car, to be launched in India is a breakthrough in environmental technology and if it wasn't real, you'd think it was a joke, wouldn't you?

under pressure

A secret MP source said:

"this is very exciting - for several years, our government has been running on very little but hot air. The opposition parties have taken up the reins and now also operate on virtually nothing of substance."

Fiddling with his blackberry whilst passing a backhander to his researcher/son he continued:

"It is inspiring to see industry picking up where we left off.

We are now looking at ways to bring this technology into the NHS, the Home Office and the British Railway System."

Pump it up

The new car, called the OneCAT, works on a supply of compressed air that takes just 3 minutes to fill. Alternatively an onboard compressor can do the job after being plugged into the mains for 4 hours.

Drawbacks

Unfortunately there are a few drawbacks with the new design.

Pedestrians unlucky enough to be caught downwind of the OneCAT as it drives by are liable to have their trousers, and possibly underwear, blown off by a sudden gust of escaping high pressure gas. This has excellent carry-on gag potential, but could cause problems in built up areas.

Also, early models have been prone to incredible bouts of flatulence, particularly when drivers have been adding scotch eggs and mushy peas into the engine for added performance.

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