The Orion Bag: Sci-Fi satire

Issue 58

4 April 2008

Updated weekly

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EMAIL US: moan@orionbag.com

ZOMBIE WIFE DAZZLES WORLD PRESS

President: Going green

Wife: Topless photos

UK welcomes Frog President on state visit

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown hosted a state visit to the UK this week from the President of Frog IV in the Ban'aa system. President 39 oblique Four also brought his beautiful wife with him.

Belch

Indeed, much of the press attention has been focused on Belch, the President's wife, rather than the President himself. Belch, a zombie and former model from Billitop 6, had to suffer the indignity of topless photographs of her being leaked to the British press. In addition, newspapers had to be carefully briefed that the name 'Belch' on Billitop 6 means 'sweet and fragrant air', which in many ways is quite different to the sense we have of the word here on Earth.

Lurch

The Prime Minister and President 39 oblique Four held a summit at Millwall football club, as it was felt that the club had strong links with the zombie community. The world's press looked on while Gordon Brown and 39 oblique Four lurched around the pitch with their arms outstretched like playground zombies in an ill-advised attempt to make Mme Belch feel at home. However, whatever the drawbacks of the photo opportunity, Mme Belch certainly appreciated their efforts, clapping wildly in appreciation. At least until her left arm fell off.

Gift

The arm was later presented to the Prime Minister as a gift to the British people. It is currently being used to prop the toilet door open in 10 Downing Street (I'd give it five minutes if I were you).

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There are 2 comments on this bag.

Hardy ha! Good! (Especially the Millwall comment.)

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